Divorce has a larger affect on people than you probably think. I myself come from a family with divorced parents and I know the affects it can have. When someone decides to get a divorce just because they couldn't stand to be with their spouse anymore is not the smartest decision they could have made. First if this couple has children they will still have to see each other unless there are special circumstances. This means they still don't get to leave this person you thought they never would have to see again. They are stuck with them until the children are fully out of the picture. This could mean forever.
Divorce really hurts the children and friends of the couple. These people will suffer the most. The children are forced to live two lives normally. This means they have to lie to make sure each parent is happy. The friends are forced to choose who they want to stay friends with. This isn't fair. No one should have to make these kind of decisions because a couple couldn't do what they promised to do in the first place. People try to make divorce seem like it's not a big deal, but I know it causes more problems than it fixes.

The best thing a parent can do is love their children. They need to know how to correctly meet their needs to do this successfully. Every one needs to have contact with people. We tend to go into a depression when we don't get enough contact. This could be physical, verbal, or eye contact. It is essential to make sure children are receiving enough contact when they're growing. If they don't they could grow into problems or even die. Knowing how essential this is to the growth and development of children made me think back to my own family. My father doesn't really hug a lot. He does if someone else initiates it, but other than that he really doesn't. My younger sister had moved in with my mom for awhile. Even though my mom doesn't treat my sister right, my sister still wanted to live with her. I think this could be because my mom met those contact needs for my sister. Another need would be the need for power. This is what brought my sister back to my dad's house. My mom wouldn't give my sister any power, so she left to show that she did have power. There will be consequences to all of her actions of course. They will come naturally and she will have the chance to learn from them.
Sometimes people act out and we think it's because they're just bad kids. I don't think that's true. These children who act out are most likely missing something in their life. They might hit their parent because they crave they contact they can get from being hit back. This of course isn't healthy. Parents need to realize that if their kids are acting out that it might be the parents fault. None of us are perfect. Everyone has needs that need to be met in order for them to be healthy.

Finances are a big part of how you live. When I thin about finances I think of budgeting. This is one things that can help keep your finances in check. When talking about the family and finances there needs to be a different way to approach the situation. The husband should be bringing in the money and the wife should be able to help in different ways. The role of the mother is something I wanted to talk about. The mother should be the care taker. She should be teaching her children and caring for them. Her role is one of the most important. Without a mother in the home to teach children the family will fall apart. I know this because it has happened to me. My mom wasn't home very often and my siblings and I were forced to learn certain skills on our own when we were with her. The mother is the glue that can hold the family together. Without the mother the family will eventually fall apart. Even if the mother doesn't work outside of the home it's good for her to get an education so she can be better prepared to teach her children.
If there is an able bodies husband in the house he should be working to take care of his family financially. He has that obligation. The Lord will reward this family and help them through tough situations. God will not command us to do something we cannot. It is also good for a father to spend one-on-one time with his children and his wife. Just because he works doesn't mean he can't be apart of the family. The family needs both parents  and God to make it function correctly.

In  every relationship we have great power and influence over people even if we don't think we don't. People can easily influence others by making things difficult, withholding things from them, offering something, insulting their character, and making a request or demand. We do these things every day. If we are doing these for the right reason we can make a good change. Influencing people can also have negative affects. People can take what you are doing and interpret it wrong. They might think you don't like them anymore or you don't support them. This could be detrimental to relationships. Not having the support of your partner will break the trust that is within the relationship. When you do try to influence things just remember to communicate in a way they understand you want the best. This could keep them from misinterpreting things. Every relationship needs to how influence though. Without the influence things couldn't really move forward, but there can't be just one person who influences things all the time. The power in the relationship needs be shared. This can help things to move forward and it can help you better understand your partner.

When thinking about stress we think about all the negatives behind it. Stress doesn't need to be seen as a negative though. We need stress in order to grow stronger. Without stress on our bodies we literally couldn't grow. Gravity is a simply example of stress that we deal with on a daily basis. Emotional stress is what can start to cause people problems though. When we are stressed we tend to forget about the world and everything around us. We don't care about anyone else. This isn't good. Learning how to cope with things in a better way is central to how we live our lives. If we can learn how to deal with hard situations and see them as blessings we can come out of them a better person. Sometimes we are faced with situations that we feel we can't get through. I have seen thing in my life with my sister. She doesn't cope with things in a healthy way, so she eventually loses herself and everything she was. This loss of identity can cause people to do things they normally wouldn't. I know that the way we deal with situations will have a great effect on the way we live our lives. The decisions we make are all determined by the way we see the world around us. Perception is everything. If we can just change the way we look at the world and see it as a blessing, we will be able to live our lives to the fullest.

This week in class we had gone over sex. This is a topic I don't enjoy very much. The media uses it too much in my opinion and it isn't portrayed in a truthful manner. Sex is something that changed my parents life. Choosing to have sex before they had been married led to me being born. This would lead to them being married and then a short amount of time later they were divorced and then my life would be forever changed. Sex is seen as romantic and without consequence nowadays. It is not. It can lead to many horrible things if not done in the correct time. When you see an attractive person your first thought shouldn't be "I would have sex with that person." Sex is a huge step. It means you are fully committed to that person and if you can't make that commitment you shouldn't be doing it. I know just how severe the consequences can be if you have sex when you probably shouldn't have. Don't only think of yourself when you're making these decisions. Think of how it will affect the other person. If they become attached to you then you have ruined their life when you leave them. Sex a the wrong time is a selfish decision, one that can ruin many lives.

Marriage can be a scary thing if not done the right way. There should be steps taken before marriage. These steps should be dating, courtship, engagement, and marriage. Each of these should be taken as steps. This means they should be direct and understandable. If people slide through these steps the relationship becomes unclear. Another thing married couples struggling with would be happiness in their marriage. After a mother gives birth to her first child the marriage might go downhill. This could be because the father feels left out, they didn't communicate beforehand, or they don't show each other enough appreciation. It is hard to feel loved if you don't feel appreciated. Mothers should include the father in everything. This could help the relationship so much. Just including your partner in your life and on this journey will make them feel appreciated and useful. When moving from marriage to having your first child don't forget to include your spouse in the whole process.

When talking about love I do believe there are many different kinds. When we think of love we normally think of it as a sexual thing. This is not the only love we show for people. We are taught to love our neighbor. This does not mean we need to be in love with our neighbor. The type of love I want to focus on is Charity. Charity is the pure love of Christ. When I think of Charity I think of someone doing selfless acts. This type of love is one we can't live without. It is vital to our success. If we soften our hearts and become more willing to help others we will be blessed and strengthened. Loving someone does not mean we have to date them. It can simply mean showing them kindness and serving them.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints we believe gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose. For people who struggle with this kind of identity, they should just look for guidance. We all go through trials in this life and I believe that same sex attraction is one of the trials people go through. Like any trial it takes time and patience and people around you to support you through it all to get through it. I know many people don't see it this way because they don't want to change or see it as a trial or something to overcome. The way we perceive things has a lot to do with how we react to them. We don't need to feel broken or different when we go through trials like same sex attraction. We are all beloved spirit sons and daughters of heavenly parents. We are loved even when we think we are not and we can overcome any obstacle that stands in our way.

The class we are born into doesn't have to be the class we stay in. While thinking of what class I want to be in I have taken into consideration the class I was raised in. I grew up in the middle class. I learned how to work hard and respect other people. I liked that I was never just handed things. I had to work for everything I got. This is something I want my future children to learn. If they learn how to work hard and respect other people they will be able to make it in the real world. Hard work and respect can go a long ways.

Families seem to work in a pattern. Sometimes we think we can't break this patter. Kind of like we are stuck in a never ending cycle. This is NOT true. We are stronger than we think. I know from personal experience that I can break the cycle and create a better future for my family. I didn't grow up with a good mother figure. I saw myself taking on the role of the mother in my household. Now that I am an adult and preparing myself for the future, I have taken the opportunity to look at other people's families. Doing this helps me get a better understanding on what kind of family I want to have. I know that no one has a perfect family, but there are families out there that work. I want my family to be one of those. I not only look at these other families, I also study the principles behind the family. Knowing the things that can help a family succeed will be beneficial in the future. So if you are feeling discouraged by the way your family is, don't give up hope. You can make a better future for yourself!

Sometimes we find ourselves misinterpreting situations. This can lead to problems which then lead to broken relationships. If we want to keep relationships we just need to learn how to communicate. How much easier would it be to just say what you are thinking instead of assuming the other person should know. I know I tend to misinterpret things all the time. I am slowly getting better at communicating with my friends and family. With  both of my sisters I had this problem. It wasn't until last year I started reforming a relationship with them both. It's not a one sided thing. Once one person has misinterpreted something the other person is bound to do the same. So until the truth about how each person truly feels and wants is laid down, problems can't be solved. This week I have challenged myself to talk to my family and friends and understand them better so our relationships can thrive. This is something we all can do! So if you are having problems with someone, go talk to them and see if you can figure out what the real problem is because it might just be a simple misinterpretation issue.

While learning about some of the trends that can harm the family divorce is one of the ones I have personal experience with. Being from a divorced family I know some of the consequences that go along with it. The children do suffer in these situations. I was able to overcome the trials I had to go through, but because of the choices my mom made I don't know how to have a successful family. I know the things that I need to do, but I have no personal experience to say that what I think will work, will actually work. I'm not saying all children from divorced families will turn out confused and lost and more likely to fail in their future relationships. But I don't want people to think divorce isn't a serious problem. It not only hurts the people in the immediate family, but it also negatively affects the friends of the family as well. I see divorce as a disease. It keeps spreading and killing families. Something needs to be done to stop the spread of this horrible disease.

Hello my name is Shelby and I have made this blog for my Family Relations class. I think it will be very interesting to read my fellow classmates blogs. I am planning on majoring in psychology. I hope to one day become a Child Psychologist, so I thought that this class would help me to better understand the workings of families and help prepare me for my future. This is my second semester at BYU-I. I am a recent convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I learn something new every day. My dad and I are the only ones who got baptized in my family. My parents have been divorced since I was just a little girl. When I was fourteen I decided to move in with my dad full time and when I was sixteen I got baptized into this lovely church. I don't see much of my mom or other siblings anymore. My older sister is married and lives in Washington, my younger sister just recently moved back into my dads house, and I can only see my younger brother when he is with his dad.
I am thankful for my family and my trials. Both have strengthened my testimony. I am grateful for the little  bit of time I am able to spend with each of my siblings. I hope some of the things I share can help you.